Fantasy World

I still remember a sentence which I saw a few months ago -- "Though I'm smiling, I'm crying inside." (something like that)

She is always laughing in front of us. Her innocent eyes show no signs of fear or hopelessness. Her laugher is somehintg that we hear every day, every minute, every now and then. But no one knows that no matter how much she laughs and no matter how happy she seems to be, she might be really desperate in the inside.

I don't know if it was true, but I seemed to not convinced in believeing in it. Whenever people talk about her, all I could think of is her smiling face and her laughter, and how she loves anime and comic. But none of "those", none of the things we saw today.

I know she won't she reading this blog, but still, I hope somehow she could feel that everyone besides her care for her. She is and will never be left alone. So don't do it, I don't want to see an empty seat standing somewhere in front of me, I don't want to see the crying faces of our class, I don't our class to be torn apart. Your smile, your laughter will always be part of our class. 3Y will never be a class without you. You are part of 3Y, part of the society, you are not useless....

I know that there are always times when people are really unhappy, I certainly have those times too. But please don't forget that we're always there, and everything has its solution.

So, "PLEASE DON"T DO IT" , "PLEASE DON'T" "PLEASE DON"T DO THAT. WE DON"T WANT TO LOSE YOU"...

I know, maybe it's we girls who always feel like this.

We say things which we don't really mean it, but still others could never see through us, can this be called an "invisible" irony...

I had  told someone that something didn't matter, but deep inside, I know it matters, it matters so much.

Maybe I hope that I could forget about it when you and I try not to mention about it.

Yet, my faith in you dropped after what you'd done... But still, I'd only told you that I didn't mind it at all...

Something which matters so much, I've tried to keep it as something of my own, but you... 

The things I tell you often represents the level of friendship we have. The more I tell you, the closer we are. The less I tell you, the farther we are. So please treat the things which I told you as my faith in you, they are not rubbish and nonsence.

If you have done something against it, my faith in you so as our friendship will be affected.

Like now, you've done that thing, all I could say is sorry, no one can help it. Things have already happened, a wall between us will be built, and you can do nothing about it, nor can I.

Nothing more to say, I guess...

病了…

算，本小姐答應了某人今天會做，所以....

01 叫咩名? piscies, piece, 片小姐....so many...

02 幾多歲: 14，但智商只有兩歲

03 性向? er... 好無聊

04 幾時生日? 三月七.... 幻想形

05 住邊? um...青山

同班同學之最

18 最靚女: Karen Yuen

20 最好人: Belle Belle

21 最煩: 我...

22 最乖乖: Coco

23 最有錢: 四朵金花 guar

24 成績最好: Nat chiu, Doot doot, 覓, Jane

25 最幸福: 怎樣才叫幸福 ar???

26 最串: dunno wor..

27 最姣: dunno

28 最IN: Crytsal, mavis guar...

29 最成熟: Chelsea

30 最幼稚: ME!!!!

31 最高: Chelsea

32 最矮: Denise

33 最可愛: um...dunno wor... plz define 可愛...

34 同邊個最fd: 自己

35 最信邊個? 自己

36 邊丁拍緊拖? um...about 10 la

37 希望邊丁人會起埋1齊? Everyone!!!

38.邊個拍得最多次拖? Chelsea...

打得好累... finish mei ar...

39 同邊個一齊玩最開心? everyone la

40 覺得朋友有冇可能1314? me

41 朋友之間最重要係咩? faith...

42 有冇人同你中意埋同1個人? ys ...

43 願唔願意為朋友犧牲?  ys

44 會唔會重色輕友?  不知，因為未試過…

45 屋企幾大?  um...dunno wor...

46 有幾多人?  so many... too lazy to count la

47 有幾多個兄弟姊妹? 2 la

48 佢ar爸係邊個? er...好無聊

49 佢ar媽係邊個? 好無聊

50 佢ar爺係邊個? 好無聊

51 佢ar麻係邊個? 好無聊

52 佢ar公係邊個? 好無聊

53 佢ar婆係邊個? 好無聊.... 就快睡著…

54 中唔中意依個家? ok ...

55 覺得自已靚唔靚?  100% no

56 駛唔駛去美容?  ys... becuz I'm too ugly, but also too poor...haha...

57 有冇豆豆? ys...

58 頭髮長定短? 長

59 頭髮直定曲? 有直有曲

60 滿唔滿意你而家個髮形? I don't caer ga Wor...

61 中意過幾多個人? so many...hehe.... Hitsugaya!!!!

62 有冇拍過拖? no..

63 有冇表過白? ysys... but I don't even think he knows....keke

64 點表白法? shout it in front of the class!!!

65 對方既反應係點? dunno wor...

6 6:想點結婚?  gum fast ...later sin think la..

67 你仲記唔記得你之前中意邊個?  ys

68 佢叫咩名? can I not say it...

69 幾時既事? so long ago...

70 男定女? I am not les...

71 而加仲有冇連絡? um...ys we still have contact, but no, we haven't talked for ages...

72 同佢有冇行過？ no..

73 暗戀定明戀? 明戀 + 暗戀

74 相戀定單戀?  how would I know wor...

75 有冇後悔到中意佢? no...because I still love him..haha

76 有冇中意人? huh?

77 佢叫咩名? again...

78 男定女 again...

79 相戀定單戀: again...

80 明戀定暗戀? again...

81 你同佢有冇可能？ no

82 你同佢點識? hoho....in the internet...

83 中意佢丁咩: so cool!!!

84 你同佢咩關係? OMG...fans...

85 有冇為佢喊過? um.. maybe not

86 有冇為佢界手界腳? um...no wor...

87 有冇後悔中意過佢? no AR!!!

88 有丁咩想同佢講? OMG>>>> LOVE YOU!!!!

OMG...finally finish la

I thought I was going to type a Chinese blog today, but as the computer that I'm using right now doesn't support nine box, I could therefore only type it in English.

Do any of you in my class remember how Miss Tam once taught us the vocabulary -- romanticize last year?

At the sight of this word, I was puzzled.I started to think whether there is anything to do with romantic or romance. Then Miss Tam told us that it means to leave a good impression of others in your mind than in reality.

In the story, the boy wanted to see the graveyard of the girl he'd seen when travelling in time, but he never did it in the end, for he romanticized the girl to be someone beautiful and royal in his mind.

At first, I didn't really understand what it meant. I mean, shouldn't the boy be curious to know how the girl looked when she died, whom she married and how many children she had.......??

But then Miss Tam answered us that the boy refused to do so becuzse he didn't want to see how old and ugly the girl would look when she grew older and had died.

It was quite puzzling at that time, for I would certainly go and search for the girl's graveyard if I was the boy...

But now I'm starting to understand what romanticize really means.

It is  when you don't what to have your dream shattered after finding out the truth. Therefore, you try to avoid the truth, and continue as if you don't care. Because you want that thing or person to be a part of your GOOD memory...

Well, this is happening to me, just as A-san had said, "the person" might be kind of romanticizing me, and I at the same time might also be romaticizing "that person" too.

I really want to tell "that person" the truth, but...(in fact, I didn't lie to "that person"...)

Hai... romanticizing is not lying, though it does really have the same effect. What can I do?

I could say nothing more for now...

****************************************************************

P.S.> I certainly hope C-san and A-san will not read this blog...

P.S.> Hm... lets' see, I seem to have about 50 minutes left before hockey...

Well, 40 minutes left before playing hockey.  39... 38..

Through these years, I felt myself changing. But in what ways? I don't know.

Sometimes, changing might be a good thing, it might be even seemed to be improvement. However, I'm not so sure about this one.

I might have changed in my way of thinking, my actions or even in all that I've done. But I still couldn't think how I've really changed.

Last year, I went to visit my old friends and even teachers. The first thing they say was, "XXXXXX, you haven't changed at all." But deep inside, I surely know that I have changed, as that they have changed too.

I know I'm a person who minds what people have said about me. Therefore, I am sure about this change.

It might seem very puzzling after reading this blog. But nevermind, I myself am already really puzzled and I wouldn't mind writing this blog, at least I think it's still O.K. 

Still, thei change might have been a good one, but it can still be bad.

So just wait and see......seems like there's still 25 minutes left before hockey....hai... 

Things aren't going well, thery're not even half of what I've expected.

The truth is, I've fried everything -- even the subject which I thought I had most hope in. I failed again and again.

Form 3 -- a really challenging year -- a very tough year --  a year which might be the last to be in the same class as 覓 and 神樂...

Hai, I just hate everything in Form 3.

I never catch a word what the teacher said, something like verbal irony, situational irony...

And in Maths, what are indics? How could I be more careful in tackling sums? 20 marks could be gone just because of my carelessness.

In Chinese... not even mention about it. I AM the worst in set F.

Hai.... Nothing more to mention.... I don't know what subjects I'm really going to choose yet, but I'll still need to see if I've EVEN got that ability to study SCIENCE!!!

Nothing goes right in days like these, hai....